6 Weeks!

I was waiting to post this, because I had a pretty scary week. At about 5 weeks I noticed that I was spotting, and it continued to get worse over the next couple days.  Now, I know this is normal. I had spotting early on with Catherine, but it's still a little alarming. So I called my OB, looking for some reassurance. Instead they told me to go in for an ultrasound. Okay, cool.

The thing about my body is this: It's insane. My cycles are usually 32 days long, and I always ovulate late. And I know I ovulated extra late the cycle I got pregnant... because I ended up pregnant. Ha! Anyway, I had calculated my due date to be August 28th, but based off my LMP I should be due August 19th. So when I went in for the ultrasound, I estimated I was about 5 weeks 2 days, but they calculated me to be 6 weeks 4 days. That is a HUGE difference this early in the game.

The ultrasound showed no baby. I later learned that everything they saw that day is absolutely normal for 5 weeks 2 days, but is concerning at 6 1/2 weeks. So when I went to see the midwife they told me that I needed to be prepared to lose the baby.

I heard a lot of scary words like "not viable" and "miscarriage" and "D&C" and "ER" and I kind of shut down. I have never faced a miscarriage before.  I held it together until Jordan and I got to the car, then I broke down. I had been having a bad day anyway. This pregnancy wasn't welcomed with an abundance of support, so I was already feeling emotional (not to mention I have hormones coming out the wazoo). So I cried.

I was afraid to talk about it. I knew in my heart that everything would be okay, but just hearing those words, knowing that maybe things wouldn't be okay... it's a truly horrible feeling. I talked about it a lot to a friend of mine, and she made me feel a lot better. Then early this week another friend called to see how I was doing. I guess because I hadn't said much to anyone I completely broke down to her. I cried about it, and I hadn't cried since we first found out. She prayed with me, and afterwards I felt so much better. I am so glad God placed it on her heart to call me. I am very thankful for both of those ladies, and the support of my friends that got me through this.

Morning sickness settled in on Wednesday. I had had a couple bouts of nausea before, but Wednesday was BAD. And ever since I have to be very selective in what I eat or I throw it up. That was a good feeling, though, having morning sickness. I know it's generally a good sign for a growing baby.

All that leads up to this morning, when I was scheduled for a followup ultrasound. I felt good about things going in, but still nervous. They called me back, and right away, I got to see this little beauty:

 

In case you have no idea how to read an ultrasound: the big black blob is the gestational sac. The little gray blob at the top of the black blob is the baby. With a beautiful beating heart.

 

You can also kind of see a ring under the baby blob. That's the yolk sac. A week ago that is all that they could see. I even got to hear the heartbeat. This is my third pregnancy, but I will tell you, there is something very very magical about hearing that heartbeat for the first time. It's just as incredible as the first time I heard Evie's. 

 

This picture shows the wave lengths of the heart beat. 122 beats per minute. I teared up looking at that little thing, that caused so much prayer and worry in just a week's time. He or she is currently 5 mm long. Tiny. But there. And I am so very grateful for that.

Oh. And the baby measured 6 weeks 2 days. Which means I am due August 28th. Exactly as I thought.  I'm not saying I told you so. I'm just saying... okay, yeah. I told you so.