Parenting

I'm not going to pretend that I know everything about parenting. Because I don't. Evie isn't quite three yet, so I'm pretty limited to baby/toddler parenting. One thing that I have learned is that it's constantly changing, and not every kid is the same. I can't parent Catherine and Evie the same way, they are too different. I can't even parent Evie the same way every day.

The Internet is a horrible tool for new parents. It stresses me out. I read blogs and articles from experts and moms alike who will tell you that there is only one way to do things. In a lot of ways, I was very lucky with Evie. As a pregnant woman with no kids, I thought I knew everything about childbirth and parenting. I am glad Evie was not born the way she was "supposed" to be born. If she was, I never would have learned that it really doesn't matter if your baby is born via c-section or vaginally, or if you breast feed or use formula, or if you co sleep, baby wear, cry it out... you are still a good mom.

There is so much pressure on mothers. It's ridiculous. And it doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter what your parenting style is. You are always wrong. You are always doing something that someone is going to disagree with.

Evie is difficult to parent. And 90% of that is because she is my first child and I have no idea what I'm doing. As soon as I find a technique that works... something changes, and I have to find another way to talk to her, discipline her, love her. And I'm open to advice. I hadn't read a parenting book since I was pregnant with Evie, but I've read a couple in the past month trying to get ideas to help shepherd my baby through the Terrible Threes (because everyone says three is worse than two... and two really wasn't that bad) and figure out how to get my kids to sleep through the freaking night. Luckily I received some advice from a friend with a nearly-three-month-old baby that has really helped with getting the girls to sleep. I'm still working on getting Evie to actually SLEEP once we put her in bed, but she goes to bed, and stays in bed all night. Most nights. And Catherine goes down no problem and sleeps 12+ hours. It's pretty awesome. Especially since I haven't slept in three years.

This has just been weighing on my heart for a while. This pressure on mothers to be perfect. This pressure to do things, say things, a certain way. Mommy guilt is a horrible thing. No loving mother who is trying her hardest to raise her children to be decent members of society should feel guilty. Stop beating yourselves up. Do what works for you. Love your babies, love your toddlers, play with them. Let them grow. But don't let Mommy guilt get the best of you. You are doing the best you can. And you will know what works for you, and what doesn't. And THAT is what is right. Don't let some mommy blog tell you otherwise. Including mine.