10 Weeks

 

Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!
I Peter 1:6

I have had a few struggles this pregnancy. Physically, I have felt great. My emotions, however, have been a little out of whack.   First, it was accepting the emotions of another pregnancy. I was excited, but when that second line showed up on the test the reality of bringing another child into the world, when I already so often feel overwhelmed with motherhood... it blindsided me.  Some close to us were not supportive of another pregnancy, and it made so many emotions surface.

When we were told we may lose the baby things changed for me. God decided that this is the time for us to have another child. God gave me this beautiful little being, and once we knew everything was okay... I don't know. I decided that it was time for me to come out of my shell and be excited about my little miracle.

A family member recently suffered a miscarriage. How am I to be excited about the life growing and thriving in me when someone so close lost the same? I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I have been suffering from some depression. I think some of it is because it's winter, and I always get depressed with the lack of sunshine. Some of it is circumstantial. Some of it is stress. Some of it is hormonal.

But I found this Bible verse. "Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!" God wants us to rejoice in His miracles. I am so excited about this new baby. I cannot wait to find out the gender (though there is a chance we will wait until birth to find out) and buy things for him or her. I can't wait to set up the nursery and put all those tiny baby things into place. I can't wait to wash the little clothes and put them into the plastic drawers that we will be using as a dresser until we get bunk beds for the girls... There is so much to be glad about! And I am!

I am so looking forward to adding to this family. I cannot wait to feel this little thing kick and move, and I look forward to the first time I see him or her; that bright chubby face. I want to enjoy my pregnancy, for it may be my last. I want to soak up every moment and not miss a thing. It will be over all too soon, and we will be holding our bundle of joy before we know it.